Firstly, I have to give thanks to God for my beautiful daughter and especially for all that He has done for me. My pregnancy was not by any means a fairytale or easy as some women experience. Regardless, God gave me the strength and the patience to cope and deal with the matters that seemed to present themselves constantly.
I planned to have a water birth, I love having long soaks in the bath and find water very relaxing and therapeutic, however God had a greater plan. I had been having contractions for three days, I was worried at first, but just assumed they were normal pains and my body was just getting ready for me to give birth. I never expected my daughter to come so soon because she had one more week left.
After going to the hospital on the third day, the doctors put us on a CTG monitor. This monitored my little lady’s heart and it monitored my contractions. Every time I experienced a contraction it was as if I lost my breath, I tried to cope with the pain although it started to become even more intense. After being hooked to the CTG machine for almost 1-2 hours I was told that if her heart pattern didn’t change then I would have to have a caesarean.
I was completely unprepared for that. I was quite hysterical, but my Mum was able to calm me down reminding me that my little cupcake would be picking up on my energy and I would cause her distress. At this point my waters were broken and my contractions seemed to have stopped. The consultant left after giving me water in an attempt to get her heart pattern to change. Once she came back, she had another consultant with her and they were reading the monitor readings and shaking their heads.
I prayed silently throughout asking God to take control of the situation and He reassured me that He was in control. I was taken to another room where I had an IV put in, I was changed and rushed to theatre. After having the epidural I could not feel my legs as expected. The last thing I felt before that was one of the consultants painting a cold red/brown paint thing on my stomach. Afterwards I just felt pulling and tugging, I constantly asked about my daughters welfare as they did the caesarean and I was reassured that she would be fine.
About twenty minutes later, I felt a pop and then I heard a strong cry. The consultants and the other 6 women in the room, I’m not entirely sure of their names, but the theatre staff all burst out laughing. It is almost as if my little lady was saying, “how dare you disturb my sleep!” It turns out that she was just being a very sleepy baby. After a minute they did her apgar test, she got 10. Then five minutes later and at 10 minutes she received 10 once again. I was amazed and in awe of how faithful God was to us. He ensured that she was delivered safely and not only that, but she was a healthy, beautiful little angel.
When I look back over my pregnancy, I remember constantly annointing my stomach with Holy oil and praying over her. I always spoke life to her and she responded often by kicking my hands as I placed them on my stomach! Many women struggle to conceive or cannot have children for numerous reasons and it is sad, but I will never be ungrateful to God for giving me the ability to be fruitful and multiply. I pray that all of those women will one day be blessed with a child whether it is through adoption or IVF, etc. I can imagine how much love they have to give and their child will be blessed to have them.
I am still in a great deal of pain, but whenever I look at my princess sleeping away in her crib I smile because she is worth every single struggle I faced. The rejection, the emotional and physical pain, she is worth it all and I would do it again if I had to. I’m not an emotional person, but when I heard her cry believe me tears filled my eyes. I’m so overwhelmed by her and I promised God I would do my very best to ensure that she not only knows God, but that I constantly invest in her life and in her ensuring that she grows up to be an amazing child of God!
As for my mother, wow! Once I’m back on my feet I plan to whisk her away for a break. SHE is the BEST! There are NO words to describe this woman of God. She is beyond amazing and I thank God for her life. Being the youngest and only girl, my Mum has always ensured that not only me, but my brothers and I have had what we needed in life. She has always been there for us all and I know at times it is difficult, but she just always seems to be able to juggle everything. If I could be a quarter of who she is I would be exceptionally grateful. Honestly, she deserves a medal. She has not left my side from the beginning, she has always be there for me even when I had my princess, she stayed with me in hospital, trying to get some sleep in the uncomfortable armchair. We even ended up topping and tailing on the hospital bed because I refused to see her go two days without sleep. She didn’t want to leave me because I kept feeling faint, dizzy and almost collapsed.
My aunts are brilliant too. I love them all so much they’re so supportive and encouraging. They’re always there for us and even when we are wrong they are able to put us right. Their love doesn’t seem to stop and their jobs don’t get easier with any of us, but they never give up. My family are just great! I’m truly happy that God blessed me with these great people, from my mother to my cousins the list goes on!
So, to all of those who face adversity, be encouraged! There is light at the end of the tunnel. God will NEVER give you more than you can handle and He will never allow you to just be left to deal with things alone. From the very beginning, one of the Midwives wasn’t sure that my daughter would even be here today, she was concerned that I would have an ectopic pregnancy, but I rebuked that completely and you know what God ensured that was not be.
You see sometimes we have our plans, for example my birth plan, but God’s plan is greater. He doesn’t think like us and when God works he works for the BEST! Never give up and don’t doubt how strong you are, remember God’s word; ‘For I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength,’ – Philippians 4:13