I always say that I am blessed to have my daughter and when I say that, I mean it, God blessed me with the most amazing little girl in the world. She is the light in all of the darkness that I once saw. She is the sunshine on the most miserable day that I may encounter. Bella gives me hope and shows me a new way to approach obstacles. She brightens up every single room she enters with her cheerful personality and infectious giggle. She is a friendly little girl, beautiful inside and out.
Before she was born her father and I went from having a great relationship to a non-existent one. It was a very hard pill to swallow, but I have since forgiven him for everything. It is not in me to hold grudges against people, especially as a Christian we are taught to forgive others, so that God can forgive us.
Being a single mother has taught me so much about myself and in general. I realise that the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child" does hold a lot of truth. My mother has always been a great help to me and she steps in and helps out with Bella a lot. I really appreciate her and I am so grateful for her life because she is a fantastic mother and a great nan to my daughter. My mother has extended so much of her knowledge to me, which has enabled me to learn more about motherhood and how I can give Bella the best start in life.
I am fortunate to be able to work and still look after my daughter at the same time and I made it work because I did not want to put my daughter in childcare. I understand why a lot of parents do have to put their children in childcare and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that because at the end of the day most of us have to make a living. Of course there are days where I need to get work done and my daughter is running up and down the house singing along to nursery rhymes or getting up to mischief, but I allow her to be herself. As long as she is not in any danger and she is happy, I am happy.
Bella and I spend a lot of time together and I enjoy our time together, because over the past year I have seen just how true the statement, "babies grow so fast" is. I remember it as if it were yesterday, holding her in my arms and smiling down at her because she was my tiny bundle of joy. She amazes me daily when she picks up new skills, words or habits, she learns so quickly and often uses phrases out of context, but it is the fact that she knows how to say these things that humours me. Her current favourite phrase is, "come on mum!" I believe she discovered this phrase when listening to her nan getting tired of waiting for me to finish getting ready so that we could leave and go shopping!
In addition to having my mother, Bella and I are blessed to have such an amazing support system ranging from her godparents (3 of which are my best friends) and my family. It is always nice when we have family gatherings because Bella is very sociable and rushes off to interact with her cousins and the other members of the family. I appreciate these family gatherings because they give me time to let my hair down and relax as she enjoys the company of children around her age.
Before I had my daughter I often questioned myself and thought, "how am I going to do this?!" but quite literally God helped me out. He has been my go to for absolutely everything and I do not know what I would do or where I would be without Him. He has shown me so much grace and love, I am in awe always of how He goes out of His way to ensure that things work out for the best for Bella and I. There are so many issues that could have emerged, but God stepped in and ensured that they did not occur.
When Bella was a lot younger, we spent a lot of time at the hospital for various things. It saddened me to watch all that my daughter had to endure, but through it all she smiled. That, to me showed me how special my little girl is. I mentioned earlier that she shows me a new way to approach obstacles; by that I mean that in situations where we as humans would usually look at a situation and probably run away, my daughter shows me that just as she had to endure certain things I can, if only I look at things in an optimistic way. The level of happiness my daughter demonstrates on a daily basis, shows me that there is so much more to life than to see the bad in everything.
I admire my daughters confidence, she loves attention whereas I am the complete opposite. I cringe at the thought of being centre of attention, I am very comfortable living a quiet life as an introvert! With Bella being so confident and singing her little heart out or greeting people she meets whenever we go out, it also gives me the confidence to know that I am doing a great job with her.
I believe that God knows best and there are so many different reasons as to why so many of us are single mothers. It does not mean that we are bad people, but God knows who is the best for our children and for us. God never makes mistakes and He would never put us with someone who is not for us, far too often God shows us signs and we ignore them. Then we end up getting angry at God, failing to see that it was actually us. This is why God gives us freewill, He does not force us to do anything that we do not want to, but now it is up to us to make better decisions.
I used to think that I had to work extra hard to compensate for being a single mother, but I have realised just being me and doing all that I can is enough for my daughter. As long as my daughter is happy, secure, content, safe and in good health, then I am equally happy. Having her has made me realise that I can love someone else more than myself. I put her above everything because she is my world and I always let her know how loved she is. She has changed my life in so many positive ways and I will always go above and beyond to ensure that she knows this.
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