"I’m Meiko aka Mercy to friends and Iko to family. I’m a Nigerian born Mama of 2 beautiful children, married to their awesome Daddy and living in a lovely village in Kent. I’m a motherhood and family photographer and blogger. I also do other voluntary work like breastfeeding peer supporting, working with a prematurity charity called Colourful Beginnings and more."
1. What made you decide to be a SAHM?
"I decided way before I was ready for kids that I would be a SAHM. The main reason was because my mother was a very busy working mum and we grew up being cared for by relatives and maids/nannies (which is actually really common in Nigeria). My mum was (still is) an amazing mother but I knew that all that juggling was not for me, coupled with the fact that we had some negative experiences with our nannies. My husband was on the same page and we decided before marriage that this was the route we would take."
2. What was your career like before you became a SAHM?
"I didn’t have one. I got married and pregnant with my first child right in the middle of getting my Masters Degree, which I did directly after my Bachelors."
3. How has your decision to be a SAHM affected your family?
"Best decision! Being here to watch them grow and develop is invaluable. All the money in the world wouldn’t make me miss these early days of their lives. I have been able to breastfeed longer, not worry about childcare or nursery until the age of 3, partly home educate and also get involved in activities and projects that I might not otherwise have had time for. I love the flexibility! I truly believe that I am the most effective wife and mother that I can be because I’m a SAHM."
4. Do you ever consider returning to work and why?
"Well at the moment I run a photography business. I’m hoping that as my children get older, I’ll be able to do it full time and pursue it with more vigour. There are other pies I know my fingers are going to go into because I am a woman of many visions but we’ll see what the future holds."
5. In your eyes what do you think is the perception of SAHMs?
"We’re perceived as being lazy and because we’re not contributing financially, we’re made to feel that we’re not doing anything of worth. I hear a lot of people say SAHM’s are foolish for not working to make their own money because what if the marriage fails or the partner dies? I don’t think people who think like this; know many SAHMs because all the mums that I know are nothing like these perceptions."
6. What are the negatives of being a SAHM?
"The most difficult thing about being a SAHM is having to be switched on all the time. Every mother multitasks sure, but I think when a mum works outside of the home, for some hours at least she outsources her childcare and doesn’t have to be physically involved. But being a SAHM, I have to be mentally and physically switched on at all times while juggling so many tasks and that’s really exhausting. By the end of the day, I’m always unbelievably tired."
7. What are the positives of being a SAHM?
"One word. PEACE! There’s a peace in my soul knowing that I don’t have to worry about who is caring for my children. I deeply enjoy being completely involved with laying the foundation of their lives. I struggle to put into words the joy that it brings me."
8. How do you manage to stay so motivated?
"It’s not so difficult to stay motivated because I’m currently doing things that I genuinely enjoy. I also have a great support system aka my cheerleaders, my husband being number one. Even when I get the craziest ideas, he’s there to listen and help me refine them. My mother also motivates me especially through her prayers and wise counsel. I consider myself truly blessed."
9. Do you think that being a SAHM has prevented you from accomplishing your dreams?
"No and Yes. “No” because a large part of who I am and what I do is because I became a mother. “Yes” because even though the kids aren’t stopping me, they do slow me down significantly. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing because I can be a bit of a workaholic. There’s nothing wrong with taking things slow for now. They are this small for such a short time. I know that once they are both in school, I will be able to do more to accomplish my dreams."
10. What does a typical day in your shoes look like?
"Everyday is different so I’ll describe my typical Tuesday. My daughter is always the first to wake up between 6.30 and 7am. My son loves to sleep in. We pray together and I give her feed, then I put on the TV. She likes to watch Milkshake on Channel 5 while I put the bins out. Once that’s done, I take a shower. I typically give them baths and lay out their clothes the night before. So once I’m showered and clothed, I get them ready too, go down for breakfast and we’re out the door to join a friend who drives us to pre-school at 8.45am. Once I drop off my son at 9am, myself and my daughter go to one of our favourite tea rooms in town and indulge in our Tuesday ritual aka #TeaTuesdays. We wander around town until we have to go pick up my son at Noon. By 12.30pm we’re back home. We do lunch, my daughter takes a nap for a couple of hours and sometimes my son and I join her too. Alternatively I catch up on some work while my son does some learning activities. When we wake up we have a snack, read, play or watch a show together. Dinner is around 6pm and they’re usually fast asleep between 7 and 8pm. After which I tidy the house up and catch up on a little work (usually editing photos or updating social media) and setting up for the following day."
11. After a long day how do you unwind?
"I love to catch up on my favourite TV shows, blogs, youtube channels and other social media. My husband works away most days/nights of the week so I’m usually on my own. No Netflix and Chill for me until the weekend I’m afraid…LOL!"
12. What advice would you give to SAHMs or mums wanting to leave their jobs to become SAHMs?
"Same advice I would give any mother really. Be ready to adapt to every situation. Have an open mind and try not to be too hard on yourself. If you can’t get through everything on your to-do list, it’s okay. Tomorrow is another day! There will be days when the children drive you crazy and you might feel like running away. A sense of humour and an attitude of gratitude would do you good in those moments. Take it easy!"
13. Please tell us more about your website!
"My web home is where I share everything I’m involved in. You’ll find my photography, blog, breastfeeding tips, useful links and lots more. My photography and blog are motherhood and family focused. I enjoy capturing loving, fleeting moments between family members and also love attending family events like birthday parties, christenings, baby showers and more. My blog is focused on my own family life, helpful tips and tricks that I have learned on my motherhood journey and personal essays. I’ve been on break from blogging for a little while now because this year has been full on but I hope to be back to it very soon. I have so much to share! I hope you enjoy checking out my web home."
14. Finally, please tell us where we can find you on the internet?
Find me at:
Thank you Meiko, it has been a pleasure interacting with you! I understand what you mean in regards to feeling peace knowing that you are caring for your children. I can totally relate and that is one of the reasons I decided to be a SAHM for such a long duration, because it is so important for me to have an active involvement in her life. I love teaching Isabella-Grace new things and observing her as she engages with her toys and educational resources. It is gratifying to see that as she is growing up she is acquiring so many new skills right before my eyes. I am looking forward to reading your latest blog posts and reading what you and your family have been up to. All the best with your future endeavours!
I love to read everyone’s comments and stories about their own first-hand experiences with motherhood. I feel that as mothers we have so much to share to help others because you would be so surprised at how your story could help to inspire or encourage mothers. I am excited to see how the different topics planned shall unfold and of course to meet so many remarkable and diverse mothers. If you would like to be a part of my series please feel free to contact me at;
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