I can totally relate to the feeling of receiving another wedding invitation and thinking, “ah when is it going to be my turn?!” Or looking around your friendship group and thinking, “wow, I am the only one here who is not in a relationship!” I know that feeling all too well because it is a feeling, I used to find myself entertaining some time ago. I was fixated on the idea of getting married and living happily, ever after, that I started to neglect other areas in my life.
Marriage is something that I believe will happen for me when God says so, but until then I have decided to work on the other areas in my life that I once neglected. I have also gained a different mentality where I am literally enjoying my life in every season and I am having so much fun with my daughter and loved ones. In doing so, it has led me to discover so many amazing things about myself and others.
Today’s encouragement is to all of the souls out there who are desperately waiting for their future bae and wondering why he is taking so long to find them. I want you to know that he will find you and he will find you when the time is right. You do not need to go out there searching for him, that is not your job! Your job right now is to work on yourself, be a great mother to your child(ren) and to work on creating a brilliant future. When God sees that it is time, He will introduce you to your king and then together you will both be unstoppable.
If you continue to focus on that one particular thing, you will never know what else is out there in the world for you to discover. You will spend so much time thinking about your future husband that your judgement may even become clouded and when you meet a guy who takes an interest in you, you may not know whether he is the real deal or not. Do not be so quick to settle down that you settle down with just anyone’s son. You were made to be with a king and a king is what you will have. Don’t rush ahead of God’s timing because He has a perfect plan for you.
You may get tired of repeatedly hearing the same advice, but I cannot stress to you how much truth there is in it. I am a witness of loved ones who were once Independent and who waited patiently for God, not for man and their patience and faith paid off. Had they stepped outside of God’s will or gone and done their own thing, where would they be today? Do you think they would be happy or living a life of regret?
“Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions and when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. So, don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.” – James 1:14-17.
I would like you to remember that there is absolutely nothing that this world has to offer you that you should be eager for because God is the one who blesses His children’s faithfulness and obedience. Whatever He is offering me, I am willingly accepting because I know with every fibre in my body that God only has good things for His children. The world can offer you happiness today and sorrow for tomorrow. God sees the bigger picture and He seeks to give His children eternal happiness. Temporary pleasure is all fun and games in the moment, but once it is all said and done, what happens next?
“Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father but are from this world and this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.” – 1 John 2:15-17.
Guard you heart ladies, in the same way that you would guard and protect your child(ren). The people you allow into your life, your space and your heart are important. Not everyone deserves an invitation. People will show you who they are, and it is up to you to be led by the Spirit and use discernment to know what they are about. If you are unsure, pray about it – God will respond to you. Often that nagging little feeling we all experience from time to time is actually telling us something, pay attention.
"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” – Proverbs 4:23."
Spend more time focusing on God’s voice and God’s word, so much so that being an Independent Mother will be something to be proud of rather than being ashamed of because your status as an Independent Mother and woman states that you chose not to settle because you know your worth. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being an Independent Mother, it is something to be proud of and you should be proud that you are doing this by yourself (with God) and you are not just waiting around for a man to come and rescue you. God’s plan is bigger than you just relying on getting married, you have a purpose and a mission to fulfil. Don’t get caught up and fixated on marriage that you neglect your Motherly duties, yourself and your purpose in life.
As a woman who used to idolise marriage, I want you to know that it will get better. The more you spend time with God He will fill the voids you may have in your life and He will make everything alright. In the next blog post, I will leave you with some go-to bible verses, just for you to reflect on in times of need. I want you to be reminded of God’s word at all times, so when any thoughts enter your head regarding your Independent Mother status, you can shut them down one by one with God’s word. Be encouraged always!
"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." - Proverbs 31:25.