SAHM / Working Mum Series: Introducing Sadé

This has been in the pipelines for a few months, but of course (like everything for me) it had to go in the right (super organised) order! I would like to share with you all my first ever series! For the next few weeks we shall be focusing primarily on SAHMs, WAHMs and working Mamas.

I always find it so intriguing to observe and learn about the various choices we as mothers make regarding our children and even ourselves. Granted, we are all different (thank God!) otherwise the world would be a very mundane place! With that said, being different means that we do not always think the same or do the same things, but this is what makes us unique.

When it comes to being a SAHM, WAHM or working mum, there is no right or wrong choice. When you decide to become a mother you become responsible for your children and therefore it is up to you to make the right decisions for your family.

I feel that it is necessary to always do the right thing for YOU! Never feel like you must please others, but do what works for YOU and your family!

So, without further ado let's kick start this series with a beautiful young Mama..meet Sadé!

About Sadé.

“I’m Sadé, I’m 25 and I am a first-time mama to a very clever and beautiful 14 month old little girl called Inayah. I am happily married to a great guy. We’re a Muslim family. We’re former Londoners but have recently moved to Bedfordshire shortly having our daughter. Before having Inayah, I was working full time in a really lovely prep school with primary aged children in London, Hampstead.”

1. What made you decide to return to work?

“I decided to return to work part time for a few reasons. Honestly, one being that I wanted to earn a bit of extra cash. That maternity pay was great while it lasted! All jokes aside, I just felt like I needed to get back out there a bit and do something for me. Prior to having my daughter I’d always worked and although I am married to a great man that is able to provide for us, I like the idea of making and having my own money and I’ve always been independent in that sense. I’m also in the works of starting my own business and I needed a way to be able to invest in that properly so going back to work just made sense.”

2. How has your decision affected your family?

“My decision to go back to work hasn’t really affected my family in a negative way. Yes, we’ve had to adjust a little bit but I feel like me going back to work was for the greater good. I work part time so I have just been juggling it all. On the days I have off I still do the same things I would do if I were a full time stay at home mum.”

3. Did you ever consider being a stay at home mum permanently?

“Not really. I knew I wanted to have a firm hand in raising my daughter and would not be putting her into any sort of childcare until she was of a certain age as that was my personal preference but I knew I would dabble in something that would work around me still caring for her at home until we’re ready to put her in, as I wouldn’t be able to keep still for that long!”

4. What did you miss about working?

“The money! Haha! I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss looking at that full time pay slip at the end of every month!”

5. What do you think is the perception of working mums?

“I think there is definitely a common misconception about working mums and that they’re not able to balance and juggle home life and work life. I think a lot of employers are often reluctant to hire mothers as a fear of them not being able to commit fully to their work at hand. Even before becoming a mother and working in a school which is a predominately female industry I would see sticky situations with working mothers.

I also think that people often look at working mums and think they should be at home with their children, but at the same time if you’re stay at home mum, you’re often looked down on because you’re not working and you’re “just” a stay at home mum “not doing anything” insert eye roll here and side eye there I feel like it’s a lose lose situation really!”

6. Are there any negatives of being a working mum?

“I think it’s just trying to find that balance of having to upkeep my home and finding time to do all my daily and weekly chores. Working definitely affects that. Also, I do a lot of activities with my daughter, inside and outside of the home and I still do but I just have to work around work and fit it into a specific time frame where as before time was way more on our side. Also, breastfeeding when I’m working. I’m thankful that I am able to actually take my daughter to work with me, but as I am still exclusively breastfeeding, I do find it a bit difficult to feed on demand as I am conscious of the time and carrying out certain tasks. So yes, time is a bit of a negative factor here but I try not to let it stop me!”

7. How do you juggle working and family life?

“So yes, like I said earlier I try to do the same things I would do if I was a stay at home mum.

I dedicate times and days to housework. I basically try to work around work. As I work part time it’s not as difficult to fit things in than it would be if I worked full time. So, I just try to fit them in around the times that I do work. I still do all the activities I would do with my daughter and we have family time on the weekends and evenings. My husband works full time during the week and on the odd Saturday working on his own business so this is a norm for us anyway.”

8. What is a typical day in your shoes look like?

“A typical day in my shoes.. well today is Friday so I would wake up - or be woken up by my little madam. Say our good mornings and say a prayer. After Inayah has had a feed and had her nappy changed she goes over to her shelves where her toys are kept and takes something out to play with, in the morning she usually goes for books. So, we read various stories or play for about 10 to 15 minutes.

After this, we head downstairs. Inayah is free to play with her toys and/or read books on her own whilst I go to the kitchen and start on breakfast. We sit at the table and we eat together. She is usually in her highchair that is pushed up against the dining table next to me. I always try to eat with Inayah as much as possible and will usually make her and I exactly the same breakfast to encourage her to eat whatever she has as she’s always got her little eyes on my plate! After we finish eating, I go and clear up all the breakfast bits and tidy up the kitchen whilst she plays. Usually she follows me into the kitchen and “helps” to either sweep the floor, presses buttons on the washing machine and dryer then she opens various cupboard doors. She usually tends to comfort feed after breakfast. We head upstairs to brush her teeth, have a wash and get dressed. Then she is free to roam around upstairs (thank God for baby gates!) between rooms playing and exploring whilst I have a shower and get myself ready.

On a Friday we usually do two of three things- baby gymnastics, a stay and play (if we’ve woken up too late and have missed baby gymnastics) arrange a play date with one of my local mummy friends. If we’ve gone out in the morning, we’ll then come home and she’ll have a nap - not always the case, but usually. If/when Inayah is napping, I’ll try and get things done around the house for example. laundry, cleaning or prepping lunch and/or dinner. Most of the time this is done whilst I reply to messages or check in on friend/family on what’s app or via text. I most likely will even watch one of my shows whilst doing chores too. Very rarely I’ll sleep when she sleeps, but it’s hard because I just lay there thinking about all the things that I could be getting done lol, but sometimes I do just sit down and do nothing. It has to be done sometimes. When Inayah wakes up, I’ll change her nappy, breastfeed her and we’ll have lunch together all in moderation. After lunch, we’ll sit and do a set activity I prepared for her. This may be something like a messy play activity, a sensory activity, painting, Playdoh, colouring/mark making etc. We’ll do that for as long as her concentration will hold her. After that, I just let her play with whatever she chooses whilst I potter about still doing some sort of chore.

We’ll then go out to the park and/or to the Library or just for a general walk. I find for us, having a change of scenery and fresh air everyday, even for a short while is a must and is always needed. Later on, we’ll have dinner together. Then I’ll give her a bath, brush her teeth and get her ready for bed. We’ll read some of her favourite stories that she’ll always choose, say our good nights, say a prayer and then I’ll put her to bed. I’ll then go downstairs, tidy up and clean away the dinner bits and then catch up with friends and/or family via what’s app. I’ll catch up on my shows and read up on my favourites blogs. When my husband comes home we just spend time together, catching up and sharing stories on the day’s events. I’ll show him pictures I’ve taken of Inayah and of our day, we laugh about the funny things she has done or said on that particular day. As it’s Friday and my night off from cooking we always have a Chinese take away :) We’ll usually watch a film or catch up on our joint shows and usually I’m the first to retreat to bed.”

9. What advice would you give to working mothers?

"I would say try to establish a healthy balance between home life, work life and having that “me time.” It can get very overwhelming sometimes trying to keep up with it all and finding that you haven’t spent any time for or on yourself to re-energise and regroup, can take a toll on you. Women often wear many hats within the home - chef, cleaner, teacher etc but often put themselves last. I feel like a mothers happiness really plays a massive part in the household and is a very important part of the foundation of the home. So yes, try and find time for yourself on a regular basis. Even if it’s just for an hour a week, where you’re away from your child/den doing something you enjoy. Doesn’t necessarily mean you have to leave the home. Retreat to a different room in the house, close the door and do you!"

10. What’s your favourite thing to do after a long day at work?

"My favourite thing to do after a long day at work is.. sleep! Before going to bed I just like to unwind. I like to catch up on my shows and check in on friends and family. As I mentioned earlier, reading through my favourite Montessori blogs, cooking/foodie sites, a good book or a bit of Pinterest." :)

You can find Sadé on Instagram: @julymysunshine

Thank you Sadé for that insightful interview. It is great that you get to work part time enabling you to still dedicate your spare time to doing fun activities with Inayah. Like many things having a healthy balance is essential and I am happy that you are all adjusting nicely to the change. Time can be a bit of an obstacle sometimes, but before you know it, everything will fall right into place and you will find that you have more time on your hands than before!

I love to read everyone’s comments and stories about their own first-hand experiences with motherhood. I feel that as mothers we have so much to share to help others because you would be so surprised at how your story could help to inspire or encourage mothers. I am excited to see how the different topics planned shall unfold and of course to meet so many remarkable and diverse mothers. If you would like to be a part of my series please feel free to contact me at;

hello@theresilientmum.com

With Love,

Roxanne-Sasha x