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SAHM / Working Mum Series: Introducing Nke

About Nke.

Meet the lovely Nke; a Parenting and lifestyle Vlogger/blogger residing in the UK. Nke is a very busy young lady, she is a wife, a part-time supply teacher and a SAHM to her adorable son Elijah. When Nke has the opportunity she can often be found on her YouTube channel and her blog discussing a variety of topics with some of them being very close to her heart.

1. What made you decide to be a SAHM?

"Becoming a SAHM mum was never the plan! The plan was to be on maternity leave for a year then bounce back to work. Unfortunately, I lost my first son Aaron to SIDS and went back to work three months after he passed away. I went back for a number of reasons, the main ones being that I felt I didn't qualify as a mother anymore and I needed a distraction from the harsh reality of my life. I did become pregnant again very soon after and decided that I wanted to spend as much time with my baby. Having a career wasn't as much as a priority any longer."

2. I am very sorry to learn about your loss, may sweet Aaron rest in eternal peace.

What was your career like before you became a SAHM?

"Before I became a SAHM I was a full time primary teacher and had been teaching for 4 years. Prior to that I was working within finance for the local government. I decided to become a teacher because working with children appealed to me and I wanted a job where I would get real satisfaction, helping to shape the minds of the future."

3. How has your decision to be a SAHM affected your family?

"Being a SAHM has been great for my family. I get to spend time with my son and he also gets to see his grandparents more than he would if I was working."

4. Do you ever consider returning to work?

"I have currently returned to work on a part time supply basis. This is so I'm kept in the loop of my profession. I like the fact that it's not so demanding and that I spend more time with my son than if I was at work full time."

5. In your eyes what do you think is the perception of SAHMs?

"I think that people assume SAHMs watch daytime TV while doing nothing! It's easy to assume that taking care of a child is easy, but I've always got things to do. If its not chores, it's attending classes throughout the week along with home activities that I do with him."

6. What are the negatives of being a SAHM?

"I think that the negatives could be loneliness during the daytime. That's why its important for me to have structure during our week and to make sure that different activities are always happening."

7. What are the positives of being a SAHM?

"There are so many positives with being a SAHM if it's possible. I have been happy to watch my son grow into the little boy he is becoming. I have enjoyed organising our days in and out for us and being able to capture the milestones he reaches."

8. If you were to work from home what would be your chosen career path and why?

"If I were to work from home, I would like to run my own business. I have always been keen to set up a business and I am currently in the process of working on a plan - so hopefully it will come to fruition!"

9. Do you think that being a SAHM has prevented you from accomplishing your dreams?

"I don't think it has prevented me from accomplishing my dreams, I feel it has made me more grateful to have another opportunity to look after another child. I have come to realise that sometimes there are more important things than my dreams. My dreams can wait, my priority is my family."

10. What does a typical day in your shoes look like?

"A typical day has me up by 6am. My son usually wakes up by 6.30. Either myself or my husband gets him a cup of milk and then we chill in bed until 7am. I then go down with him to make breakfast for us, which takes us about 30 minutes, depending on what I have prepared for breakfast. After sweeping and tidying up, we then get ready to start the day. I get Elijah ready before myself, so he uses the potty, I brush his teeth - which he hates, has a shower and then I get him dressed. Once he is ready, I put him in his play pen and rush to get myself ready. I usually dress casually so that I'm comfortable for his classes.

We have different classes which range from a half hour to an hour. After the classes, it's usually almost lunchtime, so I make a mad dash to get Elijah home and fed. Again this takes about 30 minutes because I usually cook from fresh. After his lunch I take him up to his room for a nap. it usually takes him about 10 minutes to settle. He will sleep for about 35 minutes to an hour. Whilst he is sleeping, I come down, clean up and finish eating my lunch. I also use this time to start preparing dinner and get a wash load on.

Once Elijah wakes up, we usually do an afternoon activity. This can involve going to visit my parents. This gives me an opportunity to check on them and help them around the house. Elijah also gets to bond with my parents, which he loves! We usually spend a few hours there then make our way home to get ready for dinner.

When my husband comes home, he takes care of Elijah whilst I finish dinner. We then usually eat together and then I say goodnight to him and my husband puts him on the potty, brushes his teeth, showers him, reads to him and then puts him to bed. At this time I am tidying up and preparing for the next day."

11. After a long day how do you unwind?

"I used to relax by going to the gym, but haven't been able to do so of late. I now just go to bed early!"

12. What advice would you give to SAHMs or mums wanting to leave their jobs to become SAHMs?

"I would say follow your heart! At the end of the day, you have to do what you feel is best for you. Only you know yourself and your child. Being a SAHM is very demanding. I used to envy the fact that my husband would go to work and would be getting a whole hour for lunch whilst I would be lucky to get 20 minutes!!"

13. Please tell us more about your YouTube channel?

"I started my YouTube channel as a way to highlight infant loss and as a sort of self therapy. At the time I started it I was really down, but pregnant with my son. There were so many emotions. I was scared to be happy because I was expecting it all to end in tears...I still do, but I really try not to dwell on it. I was posting once a week about life after loss. I haven't done so in a while, but hope to resume so very soon.

When I don't have time to vlog, I blog on tumblr and post on Instagram. I like being able to express my feelings and would like to think that I have helped at least one person out there."

14. Finally, please tell us where we can find you on the internet?

Thank you, Nke. Your resilience is remarkable and I thank God for your life. Your story will help so many other women out there who have suffered with infant loss. Loss of any form is always a difficult thing to come to terms with, but I truly admire you and many women out there who have sadly encountered the same thing.

I agree with you about sticking to a schedule! I am very organised and I love to plan my day/week with Bella in advance, but of course sometimes things do not always go according to plan (especially with a little one!). I look forward to watching your new YouTube vlogs and for seeing what is next for you!

I love to read everyone’s comments and stories about their own first-hand experiences with motherhood. I feel that as mothers we have so much to share to help others because you would be so surprised at how your story could help to inspire or encourage mothers. I am excited to see how the different topics planned shall unfold and of course to meet so many remarkable and diverse mothers. If you would like to be a part of my series please feel free to contact me at;

With Love,

Roxanne-Sasha x

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