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"I Cannot Settle For Just Anything - My Daughter Is Watching Me!"

There comes a time in every woman’s life where she grows mentally, emotionally, physically and even spiritually. Her tolerance for certain things changes; she will not allow people to talk to her any which way nor will she allow people to treat her badly. She has expectations of how she should be treated and in return she treats others with the same kindness. This woman has decided to take full control of her life; she uses her past mistakes as lessons whilst building new foundations and creating a bright future. This woman changes in more ways than one, her confidence starts to blossom again, and she radiates positive energy whilst soaking in positive vibes. She delights in learning new things and extending her knowledge because she understands that there is always something new to learn. Although she had to go through so much to reach this level, she is grateful for her past as it has shown her where she does not need to be.

Before my daughter was born and for the 9 months I carried her, I battled with so many different feelings. This was all new to me and I was terrified! I had no idea what to expect and I constantly worried about the future. It took me on a rollercoaster of emotions, but one thing I can say is that I always knew God would bring us through. I remember praying daily and throughout the day always putting my daughter at the forefront and praying for a safe delivery and for her to be born healthy. I made no bargains with God, because God is not someone to bargain with! However, I did promise Him that regardless of my situation my daughter would grow up knowing who He is and loving Him as I do. Now, almost three years later it completely melts my heart to hear her little voice singing “Jesus Loves Me” or to see her dancing along to her favourite gospel melodies.

I believe that God blessed me with such a bright, shining little star because I needed her. My daughter has filled my life with SO much joy, light and laughter. With Isabella-Grace around there is never a dull moment, she fills my heart with so much happiness. Life before her existence was mundane, I was in a job I did not enjoy any longer and I was actually preparing to embark on a new journey, little did I know God was about to take me on my very own life changing journey and I am so grateful that He did. God entrusted my small madam into my care and despite trying to sort things out with her father, it was quite simply never to be and that is okay. I decided a long time ago that I do not need anyone in our lives who is half in and half out, I honestly have no time for such because it is unsettling.

I try as much as I can to keep my daughter in a routine enabling her to know what to expect next, it is important for me that she has consistency. Knowing that my daughter is watching my every move has always been at the front of my mind because I know that if I slip up then she will see – this does not mean that I am a perfect mother (there is no such thing!) Instead it means that I do make mistakes just like everyone else, but these mistakes have insignificant effect on her – thank God. It also means that I learn from them and avoid making them in the future. As I grow as a woman and as a mother I witness so many things and I just want to shield my daughter from them all, but the truth is as much as we love our children and want to protect them from certain things, we will not always be with them, for example when they go to school, college, etc.

I find that prayer is the most useful and effective shield of protection for my daughter and it gives me peace of mind. I hail from a very prayerful and religious family where prayer and God has kept us all safe for so many years. There have been certain situations in our family where I have seen God work miracles time and time and time again, so I know that He is never too far away! Naturally I would like what is best for my daughter, so in my prayers I am always presenting her to God and asking praying over her and for her so that God will always guide and direct her footsteps as she navigates through this thing called life. As her mother I must set a great example for her, so that when she one day becomes a young lady (#sigh – they grow so fast!) the wisdom I have imparted on her shall stay with her for a lifetime.

Even though I am an Independent Mother my only interest is doing what is right for my daughter and putting my all into raising her to be an exceptional young lady. Raising her thus far has shown me different things about myself and I never realised how resilient I actually was until I was made to stand alone with a newborn in my arms. A beautiful little girl who looked up at me realising that I am the person whose voice she had been hearing for all those months as I looked down at her nervous, but excited with an array of other emotions. In that moment I knew that I would never let her down, I knew it before, but it was more prominent at that time because she was so small, so helpless. Since that day my small madam has been by my side as I have been by hers, it is a beautiful feeling to know that you have a little person who looks up at you and sees their world.

Isabella-Grace my darling, you are my world and I am so glad that I have you..x

With Love,

Roxanne-Sasha x

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