2018 was a year of revelations for me. I faced the odd hardship here and there, I battled with a bit of anxiety amongst other things, but I am happy to see 2019. I feel that a New Year always symbolises a new start for everyone, they relish in the thought of having a whole new year full of potential opportunities. This year I plan to do a few things differently, every year I grow as a woman and as a mother. I learn daily and I use what I learn to influence my decisions. I am only in competition with myself because I aspire to be greater than I once was. My daughter is the reason why I continue to chase my dreams, but I also chase my dreams because I was not created to just sit here on this earth and do nothing. I was created to do so many things, some I once was sceptical about, but as time goes by, I care less about being anything other than who God has called me to be.
I have broken down some of the things I have discovered and some of my achievements below.
I have always said that I believe in seasonal relationships and that remains true to this day. There are some people who are not supposed to be in your life for more than a season however long or short that season may be. They enter your lives to teach you something.
I learnt to be more discerning last year because living without discernment can prove to be a dangerous thing, speaking from experience. I find that having discernment has helped me in more ways than one and I am grateful. I stopped hanging on to people who God saw fit to remove from my life because He did so for a reason. I cannot say that anyone I have lost last year has had any impact on my life whatsoever. I keep going onwards and upwards for me because nothing and nobody will ever keep me down for long.
Friends whom you have known for a decade or so can still surprise you, even family members too, but I always give such problems to God and I ask Him to show me who is for me and who is not for me. I also ask Him to remove anyone who is not for me from my life and without a doubt, He does just that. I hold those whom I have in my life very close to my heart because I value family, friends and loved ones. I need not spend time worrying about those who God has removed because He understands why. Most of the time when He removes people from my life, I also understand why He does it. I stopped questioning Him when I realised that He is not being mean, He has my best interests at heart.
All I care about is who God wants me to surround myself with, I know who my real friends are, and they are the ones who have been loyal to me from the beginning. We have stuck with each other through the good, the bad and the ugly and this is why our friendship is so strong. God placed these ladies in my life for a reason and I am so, so thankful for all that they are, and all that God is moulding them into.
Friends that pray together, stay together!
Online Shop | Events.
Launching my online shop and The Independent Mum Magazine, attending events and having the great opportunity to meet so many amazing women and men have been some of the highlights of 2018 for me. There were certain obstacles in the way which prevented me from launching my online shop and The Independent Mum Magazine before because it took a great deal to even get these projects completed before my initial deadline. Nevertheless, I persisted, and I left it all in God’s hands because He knew when the time would be right.
The support I have received thus far has been a real blessing in itself, I appreciate those who support me, those who have offered advice to me and those who have prayed for my daughter and I. Being The Resilient Mum is gratifying because God has positioned my platform in a place where I am able to communicate, support and meet other Independent Mothers. This has always been my main aim to inspire Independent Mothers everywhere and although there were times last year where I was facing my own challenges, I found the strength to continue because I know that I was needed. It makes me feel happy to be able to help others, it really brings a sense of completeness into my life. I believe that I was created to do many things and helping is one of them, I always get so much joy from pouring into others and inspiring others to do the best that they can do, I don’t see that changing anytime soon.
Followers | Supporters.
Meeting followers and supporters is not something I ever take for granted, hearing their kind words and learning more about them is a beautiful thing. I love to learn about my followers, I believe everyone has a story to tell and that is something that I try to do as much as I can on my platform. I love to share the stories of other inspirational Independent Women and that gives them an opportunity to have their say. I look forward to interviewing a lot more Independent Mothers, I have met so many great women near and far. It allows me to see some of my mission coming into fruition.
I am always humbled when I read messages, emails or comments from women who have taken the time out of their day to reach out to me extending their thoughts and compliments. It makes everything I am doing so much easier because I am able to continue supporting others knowing that I have a whole line of mothers standing behind me cheering me on. When God gave me the vision to become The Resilient Mum, He never told me how much of an impact I would be able to have; it always astounds me. I will always be grateful that my followers and supporters appreciate what I am doing. I am appreciative that what I am doing is helping them to believe in themselves, this is the reason why I do what I do.
Creating a YouTube channel was actually something I planned to do at the beginning of 2018, but due to unforeseen circumstances this was postponed until later on in the year. My cousin had been encouraging me for the bulk of 2018 to do my channel, but I had other things on my mind, so I did not. It is a HUGE step outside of my comfort zone, I prefer to be behind the scenes, writing down my thoughts as I am doing now, here. However, I consistently talk about stepping outside of our comfort zones and I do it myself, so why was this any different?! I am still working on different content and I upload when I am able to which is usually once a week, for now this works for me. I like to do things and do it properly, so I won’t say, “I am going to upload every day on _____” if I know that I cannot commit to this. I lead a very busy life, but when I do upload, I give it my all. I would like my viewers to be able to take something away from what I am sharing with them, in the same way when I post to Instagram or write here on my website, my readers and followers are able to learn something or feel empowered.
If you would like to check out my channel, please head to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLwldtod0-s&t=99s
The Independent Mum.
The Independent Mum was quite tedious to create because I had a whole vision of how I wanted everything to be and it is not that it has not surpassed my expectations because it really has, but it is the sheer fact that I sat down, planned the whole layout, planned the content and executed it all myself. It does leave me feeling very proud of myself because I have always known that creating a Magazine or Newspaper is very hard work (I wanted to be a journalist and worked for a little while with a magazine and newspaper organisation in London.) It just goes to show what you can achieve when you believe in yourself. I am still working on different ideas and I am sure that as I learn more about the technology I use, I will become more confident about playing around with different ideas.
I was nominated for a few awards last year; can you imagine how shocked I was?! I did not win two of them, but it was the fact that others had nominated me for these awards and the realisation that others are giving me the recognition for doing what I am doing. God never fails to surprise me and with the challenges I had faced last year, these nominations, my daughter, amongst other things kept me motivated and ready to work ten times harder. You may have heard the common phrase, by the founder of the Olympics, Baron Pierre de Coubertin, "the most important thing in the Olympic Games is not winning but taking part; the essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well." I am happy to be acknowledged and I am also happy for the women who won, it is not about competing with other women, but cheering them on. My time will come, but for now I will continue to work on my own grass, doing what I do best.
I note that you can support others, but they may not always reciprocate. This can be a difficult notion to deal with, but the reality is that not everyone has the same heart as you. It is something someone had brought to my attention, then when I experienced it myself, I would not say that I was sad, just a bit disappointed. I understand that everyone is different, but it is nice to support others and I will not stop doing that to those who appreciate it. Not everyone is the same and therefore not everyone will treat you the same but go where you are appreciated, not tolerated.
God’s Timing Is The BEST Timing.
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens,” - Ecclesiastes 3:1.
As per my first point, I would like to say that God’s timing will always be the best timing. The amount of hazards God has saved me from last year was phenomenal astronomical. I appreciate Him for stepping in just when I needed Him. Knowing that He has my back, leads me to make smarter decisions. I am no longer fearful of stepping out into the unknown if He has already given me the go ahead. I must admit it took me a long time to get to this point, the point of waiting. I have always been a naturally impatient person, so for me to wait for things that I know I can go out and get, it was difficult. However, I acknowledge that God is protecting me from so many things; seen and unseen. What is for me will always be for me and will NEVER pass me by. It gives me comfort to know this because God does not ever withhold good things from His children. He has a reason for everything.
I would like you to rest knowing that God is going to deliver as He said He would, you do not need to do anything, just wait on His timing.
Check On Your Strong Friends | Family.
This is a big one and an eye opener. So many people sadly suffer with their own personal battles and as you may have heard in the media, sometimes they end up taking their own lives. I know how it feels to suffer in silence and to deal with things by yourself. I also know how it feels to fight battles that nobody knows about. I am a private person, but at times a problem shared is a problem halved. If you or someone you know is struggling or suffering in any way, please reach out and seek some help.
You are NOT weak for seeking help, you are a brave, you are a warrior! It is okay not to be okay. We all need a little help from time to time. You do not have to deal with any problems that you are experiencing by yourself. You have people in your life who love you, your children think the world of you and I also believe in you. I believe that you can overcome anything and I know that you will.
I have entered 2019 with a very different mindset and a different outlook on situations and life. I accept what is and what cannot be changed, but I will work on what can be changed. There is no more settling, with anything, I only want God’s best – for my daughter, in life, in love and in general. I am going to continue building a great life for my daughter and I whilst creating beautiful memories for her to look back on. I would like her to always cherish the fond memories of her childhood and know that because of her, I never gave up. I want her to see that with every obstacle and every setback, I came back 10 times harder.
Happy New Year Mamas, may this new year be your best year yet!
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