Why is forgiveness important?
Hey Queens. I hope you are all well. If you're reading this then you've made it through 2020 by the grace of God! We thank God because this year has been full of surprises. I pray that 2021 will be a great year for all of us.
I have spoken about forgiveness before, but recently it has been on my heart once again. Forgiveness can be a challenging step to make, but once it has been done you will feel so free. Holding on to unforgiveness is a very heavy burden to carry, one that will just add to your ever growing list. You need not carry such weight around with you.
In Mark 11:25-26, we are told, "And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses."
Simply put, if we are harbouring unforgiveness in our hearts, why should Christ forgive us for our sins?!
The reality of it all is that we all sin, we all make mistakes, we all say things at times that we should not say and we all slip up from time to time. The reason we do this is because we are not perfect. We are constantly striving to be like Christ, but when we do slip up, we expect Christ to forgive us, don't we?! So shouldn't we extend the same grace to others?
I must admit it was considerably difficult for me to forgive my ex. I think that is the only situation where I really struggled to forgive. This year I made a discovery about something and it really blew me away, but not in a good way. I felt a lot of the emotion I felt when I realised my ex would not be present in our lives. It blew my mind that someone could do such a thing..but when it was all said and done I had to remind myself that God is most definitely real and everything we do on this earth shall be repaid to us. This is why it is best to do good and spread love.
I have found there were times I was the one in the wrong and I had to apologise. I am the kind of person who will not sleep peacefully if I know my actions or words may have affected someone. My Mother raised me to always be kind to others, so I try to do my best to radiate kindness just as she does. Do I always get it right? Nope! Does it stop me from trying? Certainly not! My Mother is one of the kindest people I know, so many people have nothing, but lovely words to say about her. She has always taught us that it is best to forgive, let go and move on.
What do you do when you are the one who needs to apologise? How do you respond? It is always best to take a step back and reflect on what has happened, what has been said and how it may have made the other person feel. If you know that you need to forgive, then pray about it and ask God to give you the wisdom, strength and understanding to apologise. Apologising also sets you free, even if they don't want to hear it. You will feel at peace because you're not holding malice against them.
I know that it is particularly difficult for Independent Mothers who have been left to raise their child(ren) alone to forgive. I know that it seems like a big ask, but it really is for your own good. If we were to sit down and hold on to the negative feelings, the raw emotions and the bad vibes they've left us with, we will not grow nor will we flourish. They will be out their living their lives without a care in the world, so why should we allow them to rob us of our joy?!
Forgive because you and your child(ren) deserve better. Forgive because it is the right thing to do. Forgive because you deserve mental, emotional and physical freedom. Forgive because if you do not forgive God will also not forgive you. Forgive because God is love and as a child of God you are the light. How can you talk to others about God when you hold unforgiveness, bitterness and hostility in your heart?! It will never work!
Forgivesness is never an easy thing to do. It takes time, but I want you to know that just because you forgive them it doesn't mean that they will go completely blameless. As stated earlier God repays us for our actions and works. You cannot hurt someone intentionally and expect to live a happy, fulfilled life. God will deal with those who hurt others, but it is not our job to seek revenge. Revenge belongs to the Lord,
"Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." - Romans 12:19.
The child(ren) growing up with one parent, who struggle to make ends meet or who struggle in other ways will not struggle or suffer in vain. One day it will all make sense and it will all be worth it. There will come a day when their father(s) is/are the one(s) begging you to forgive them, but for now your task is to raise your child(ren) to the best of your ability, build your life, serve the Lord and fulfil your purpose.
Dry your tears Mama, I pray that God will help you to realise that forgiveness will set you free. May God remind you that forgiving others will also help Him to forgive you too. May He grant you the strength and courage to be able to say, "I don't understand why this is happening. I don't understand why they've done this God, but I trust you." I pray for God to remove the bitterness you may feel, the sadness, the anger, the hurt, the pain and may He replace it with feelings of happiness, joy, peace and His goodness. Amen.